Five Super-simple ways to embrace “Learning for Life” 

“He does not climb on chairs in order to sit on them, but just for the sake of climbing.”

Maria Montessori The 1946 London Lectures, p. 114

Meandering through a day-to-day existence of “to do lists” and “purpose-driven activity” how much time can we set aside for “doing” for the sake of “doing” or “being” for the sake of “being”?

The last few weeks have been filled with the usual busy-ness of things to accomplish, but I’ve made some changes that are healing my heart and allowing me to breathe a little easier.  Being a teacher to my core, I want to share what I’ve been “learning” in hopes that there might be a little tidbit or two that would lift you up this spring.

1. Love Your Feral Feline

As funny as this may seem, I found LYFF as a solution to a big problem we have had this winter: mice and pack rats EVERYWHERE! They’ve been making a mess under our macadamia nut trees and getting to the nuts faster than I can, but when they started to find their way to our attic, I needed a solution. Voila! A couple of feral felines.

These rescued felines have brought more joy than I’d ever imagined. No, they will never be indoor or lap kitties, but they are still showing the love. Our Mr. Burrow, aptly named for his antics rearranging his temporary cage and hiding under the blankets with just a little peak out to make sure we were minding out own business, brought us a gift lizard within 24 hours of his freedom. Thank you, Mr. B! Nothing says I love you quite like this!

Kidding aside, the feral kitties are reminding me that they have their very own way of connecting to us. It’s not like a pet exactly, but they can show their love, too! They remind me that having specific expectations and desires (for our children, our students, our relationships) can keep us from receiving their “gifts freely given.”

2. Plant a tiny garden.

When a new visitor to our home remarked that I love plants, I was a little surprised. I’ve gotten so used to their being everywhere, I’d become desensitized to how they fill every room with life. Springtime, even in Southern California, is the time to get new plants going, so our curiosity about creating permaculture around our avocadoes has us both pulling on the garden gloves and opening up new spaces.  With my new little garden space, I’ve gained daily “30-minutes-at-a-time” relief from hours at the computer, a few sore muscles that needed waking up, and the pleasure of new fruits, veggies, and flowers soon to arrive.

 Every day is an opportunity to invest a few minutes toward the future. Just this morning, I placed 6 catnip plants into an area where I spied Mr. Burrow stalking the birds who were way too quick for him. I’m hoping these plants will spread like their mint counterparts and fill the space so he and Violet, our other super-shy feral feline, can roll themselves into herbal bliss.  

These rescued felines have brought more joy than I’d ever imagined. No, they will never be indoor or lap kitties, but they are still showing the love. Our Mr. Burrow, aptly named for his antics rearranging his temporary cage and hiding under the blankets with just a little peak out to make sure we were minding out own business, brought us a gift lizard within 24 hours of his freedom. Thank you, Mr. B! Nothing says I love you quite like this!

Kidding aside, the feral kitties are reminding me that they have their very own way of connecting to us. It’s not like a pet exactly, but they can show their love, too! They remind me that having specific expectations and desires (for our children, our students, our relationships) can keep us from receiving their “gifts freely given.”

3. Naptime for grown-ups…take a midday rest break.

When I was still spending my days at school, I learned to take a midday break by walking up and down the hill nearby, visiting the tiny park on the corner, or simply pausing to sit with the preschoolers at play.

 Now that I’m “retired” and spending most of my hours at home behind a computer, I still remind myself (with a timer if needed) that taking breaks to step away from the thoughts, the screen, and the to-do-lists rejuvenates my brain and lightens my soul. Sometimes that little break can just be stepping outside the room or shifting to my knitting for a few minutes.

 Dr. Montessori reminds us:  “The child gives us a beautiful lesson – that in order to form and maintain our intelligence, we must use our hands.”[1]  Spending time with handwork is much more than a physical break or channel change: it’s a change in our brain brought about by a very different kind of mental activity.

4. Learn something new…just for the sake of learning.

Connect with the experience of “new” learning!  But don’t be surprised if learning something new turns out to be more of a challenge than a gift. When the pandemic caused so many of us to shift our lives around, what new learning did you face? Were you frustrated? Scared? Exhausted? Learning all the new things and making those adjustments were tough for many.

The upside, when we choose to put ourselves in the context our students face every day, is that we can gain insights to their experiences. A new perspective of how it feels to try and fail, or to persevere and eventually succeed can invigorate our belief in Learning for Life, the very motto of Montessori that lit an unexpected fire in me.

5. Do nothing…

Eckhardt Tolle reminds us that doing and thinking nothing can be as simple as asking ourselves if we have time to take one deep breath. We always do…and if we think we don’t, well, we definitely need to do some learning!

Doing nothing, stopping my thoughts, was much harder, but E.T. offered a great tip for this, too: Say to yourself, “I wonder what my next thought will be.” Try it! When you stay focused on wondering about what’s to come, you can really be free in the moment…a freedom that will rejuvenate you for your next joyful step into learning something new for your life!

[1]  The 1946 London Lectures, pg. 153.

Are you “ensuring harmony” and creating “an ever-better world” in your Montessori life?

“The purpose of life is to obey the hidden command
which ensures harmony among all and creates an ever better world.”

― Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind

“I’ve had enough!”

“I can’t take this anymore.”

“Something has got to change, or I’m outta here!”

Ever felt this way? Said those words? C’mon admit it! Haven’t we all…. at one time or another?

This spring, I’ve heard some variation of these sentiments from more than one or two of my friends or mentees. Some are on the receiving end of the words; others are feeling this way themselves. Me, too!

Each time a relationship challenge finds its way to my door, I try to listen between the words of the story. I do my best to practice deep listening.

What’s “deep listening”?

Is it different from regular listening? In my mind, “regular” listening is often not really listening at all. Many folks, when listening, are already thinking of what they want to say in response. They are feeling their own feelings without being aware of them; not realizing that they stopped moments or minutes before to begin forming the words that will come out as soon as there’s a pause. Once a reply is forthcoming, the words may carry advice, criticism, or commiseration…none of which really helps in moving toward resolution of the conflict.

Conflict.

That word may strike fear in your heart. How many of us identify as conflict avoiders, or as lacking in skills to participate in purposeful conflict resolution? This is likely why Dr. Montessori’s quote for this week strikes a chord in my heart… “the hidden command which ensures harmony among all.”

I grew up in a home that was often filled with a great deal of love, fun, and true enjoyment of life. But in my home, that feel-good feeling could turn on a dime. There were the long periods of silence in which I experienced walking on eggshells, uncertain of which parent to turn to or how to ask for peace. This “little-t-trauma” had a big impact on my desire for peace. My own hidden desire for harmony showed up in countless ways.

In high school, shalom was my favorite word and I proclaimed it everywhere…on my notebooks, my lunchboxes, in my saying hello and goodbye. I longed for peace in an almost desperate way.

In my young adult years, I suffered silently when hurt crept in, sometimes consciously in conflict with my desire for peace when I sought ways to retaliate; ways to make the other person feel my pain.

By the time I was in my 30’s and 40’s, I’d fully embraced a victim mentality. I hopped into the “Drama Triangle” faster than the bunny chewing happily outside my window leaps into hiding at the sound of my husband working in the garden.

A Problem or an Opportunity?

I believe with all my heart that opportunities to gain skill toward achieving harmony and peace began to surface when I embraced a practice in Montessori education. With that education came clarity around my own need for peace and harmony, and what it would take to encourage more of them in my life.

I’m not a quick study: I’ve been working on it for more than 40 years. I’m still working and learning. Deep pain can take a long to time rise to the surface. But with each passing conflict, each passing hurt, I become more gracious, less fearful of an honest conversation, more greatly attuned to my relationships, and more effective in supporting those around me in finding their own harmonious resolutions.

The quote for this week does not end with creating an “ever-better world.” As she so often does, Dr. Montessori continues with a task for us to embrace:

“We are not created only to enjoy the world,

we are created in order to evolve the cosmos.”

So take time to recognize your own “hidden command” for achieving peace in your world. I encourage you to find gratitude for the challenging opportunities you face. For in them lie the BIG WORK of being a human who is evolving the cosmos…helping it to grow more peace-filled with each brave, harmonious effort you make.

Teaching What Matters

There is not just a need for happier schools, schools where the children are free to do as they like or schools where they use certain materials: education today needs reform. If education is to prepare man for the present, and the immediate future, he will need a new orientation towards the environment.

Maria Montessori, The 1946 London Lectures, p. 102

Did you ever hear the one about the little girl and the starfish? As the story goes, the beach was covered one day with what seemed to be millions of starfish. It appeared that they’d been washed up in a sudden wave, deposited and left with no means to get back to the deep water. One lone little girl was grabbing one starfish at a time and tossing it back to the sea…over and over as fast as she could. An adult walking by saw her efforts and asked her why she would pursue such futile work. She didn’t stop her “futile work” as she replied, “It matters to that one.”

Sometimes, when my days were spent in the classroom, I wondered if the things I chose to do were making any difference at all. Even though I could see that most of the time the students were happy and much of the time most of them were engaged in whatever they were working on, even when just learning how to be social, I ruminated for hours or weeks…maybe even years, about the meaning of the “learning tasks” I was offering my students. (SIDEBAR: If you happen to know me well enough, you’re probably laughing right now! This is SO me!) I suppose my wondering was more about what difference this Montessori education would make in the lives of these children…in their immediate futures. 

A few years ago, I had become facebook friends with a former student. As a little boy, he’d been smiley but quiet, tending to sit in one, regular spot; often choosing to keep himself wrapped in his coat throughout the entire day. At least that was the picture I’d carried in my memory for nearly 30 years when we became friends again. Here he was, taking artful photographs of “suicidegirls.” I wasn’t surprised at the artistry, his parents were well-known, even nationally, for their art, but the subject matter just didn’t seem to fit. I reached out to him with a single question: “Did your Montessori education influence you and your life choices?” He responded within hours and not only said, “Yes!” but also agreed to talk with me about it. I learned he had graduated with a degree in graphic design just as the bottom fell out of the market, so he needed to put that passion on hold for a bit. He attributed his Montessori education with his “can do” attitude that allowed him to pursue his interests, no matter how far out. These days he’s switched coasts and traded his photography for a different type of model: the kind of replicas people build for fun and hobby. He’s still pursuing his passions, even into unlikely places.

Then, just a few months ago, I got a text from the parent of a couple of former students: “(My daughter) and I were just sitting here talking and she said how she misses the Big Bang lesson that you and Doug used to give.  She gave me a whole recap of it, I thought you would like to hear that.  Also, ….she wants to major in Chemistry with a geology focus.  I would say you and Doug rubbed off on her!” We had to know more.

“I have always known that I would pursue a science degree, but it was not until junior year of high school, when I took a chemistry class, that I knew I would have to do something with chemistry. I love chemistry because it is the language of our universe. ….As for geology, I am an avid crystal and mineral collector and I attribute this to yours and Claudia’s fossil and mineral case in the Montessori school. I love collecting all types of minerals and crystals and learning about their chemical makeup. My personal favorite type of crystal to collect is quartz, specifically inclusion quartz. I love that because of the abundance of quartz, it often forms with other minerals or chemical impurities that change its appearance. I love to use chemistry to try to figure out the potential pressure, heat, or other conditions that would have to be present to allow for the formation of a certain stone.”

I remember this young girl’s passion for science, but if anyone had asked me, I’d have guessed she be headed to medical or veterinary school; her enthusiasm for the animal kingdom wasn’t even thwarted by gooey, smelly  dissections. She cherished them!

Her jewelry creations with native minerals have crossed my social media platforms over the last few years, but I had no idea the extent of her passion.  I’ll bet you can guess the line in her reply that grabbed hold of my heart: I love chemistry because it is the language of our universe. That she would be using chemistry to discover the origins of minerals makes me beam. I’ll have to let her know that her email inspired my new Rainbow Rocks materials…all quartz but one…and with a curriculum designed to give any youngster an opportunity to begin investigations and experiences that could lead to a life time love.

So while these have been trying times for teachers, I encourage you all to take heart…along with a few moments every day to remind yourself that even though you may not see it today, what you are doing matters to that one…and to that one, and that one, and all the little ones whose lives you touch.

Montessori Secondary: The Bridge to Triumphant (Young) Adults

“An education capable of saving humanity is no small undertaking; it involves the spiritual development of man, the enhancement of his value as an individual, and the preparation of young people to understand the times in which they live.”

Dr. Maria Montessori | Education and Peace

Maria Montessori didn’t leave secondary guides a lot to go on. Limited to just three short essays included at the end of From Childhood to Adolescence, Dr. Montessori shared a vision of a school structure for children ages 12 to 18 that is vastly different from traditional programs, especially in the USA. She recommended a boarding school located in a remote area where students could interact with the natural world through farming, running a hostel, developing genuine entrepreneurial endeavors, and creating a museum of sorts to demonstrate their learning. It’s a tall order. But as she says, it is “no small undertaking.”

Of all the reasons I appreciate the Montessori method, it is the lofty goal of “saving humanity” that I revere most. I’ve witnessed countless examples of a child who has grown and flourished within the Montessori classroom at all the ages.

I’ve watched the 9-month-old infant carefully raise a tiny, tiny glass to their lips, skipping the bottle or sippy-cup steps considered a necessity for the weaning process of the past. Then, as soon as they can stand securely, they also learn to deposit their cup and dishes into the bin, clear the table and use a sponge to wipe their space clean.

Toddlers, walking independently now, learn to rely on their body’s messages to help them use the toilet successfully. They handle the “wet events” by going to the changing area, finding their bin, gathering clean clothes, changing out of the wet ones, and depositing them into a plastic bag to go home at the end of the day. Diapers, a hindrance to feeling their wet event, are absent from many authentic Montessori classrooms and homes as an aid to the learning that allows for independence of this critical “grown-up” skill.

With each passage to a new stage of development, children are given the opportunity to reach their full potential as the adult guides remove the hindrances to natural growth. Through curiosity and encouragement, with freedom to explore, experiment, and perfect the objects of their desires, their accomplishments lead to confidence and creativity. In the elementary class, guides use the Great Lessons to open the entire scope of the universe, inspiring students through story, but piquing their curiosity by sharing the interdependent worlds of all the traditional disciplines connected through the vision of Cosmic Education.

When the students arrive in the secondary class, a completely new world of possibilities lies before them. Here, their awkward entry into young adulthood with gangly bodies beginning to blossom into puberty is met with the work of real activity: farming when possible, but certainly gardening, small animal care, cooking, sewing, handwork of all types, auto mechanics, machinery repair, woodworking…anything goes as long as the student is drawn to it. The “work that never sleeps” is a business or farm that needs constant tending, developing a sense of accountability and responsibility for something other than themselves. They learn that the mathematics they learned in elementary can have real-world applications that must be used with care and accuracy. Yes, there are academic connections, but most often these connections relate to some aspect of their real-world work.

Guides for these young people know that the goal is valorization: finding one’s place in the world and knowing that you are making contributions that matter. Their increasing confidence is based on the competencies they’ve gained through years of carefully guided transformations. Through it all, they’ve gained knowledge of the changing world and learned they can manage their minds, their bodies, their emotions, and their hearts to make it a better place.

The saviors of humanity are alive and well and growing up in a Montessori program near you!