Category: The Adult

This reflection is about fear, specifically the tiny fears that shape our daily decision-making and choices, forcing us to maintain habits we’d like to change and keeping us from genuine growth.

Several years ago, my observation practice was re-energized through the work of Paul Epstein. After nearly 30 years in my own classrooms and 20+ years looking at the classrooms of others, my eyes were given the opportunity to see differently. Make note that I said, “given the opportunity,” because the transformation of my observation did not come about quickly or easily. And that’s what this short piece is about.

What I noticed was that repeatedly, and in spite of my desire to try these new ideas, I struggled to actually get myself into the observation chair. Something always seemed to “come up.” Or the moment wasn’t quite right. Maybe it was too late in the morning, or too early. It could be that someone stepped into my office and took up the time I’d set aside.

Conversations with my disappointed teachers heightened the sense of guilt about not getting into the classrooms as much as I wanted. I felt a pang of fear reflected in their frustrations. In an effort to improve, conversations with my own staff and other heads of schools and their staff revealed that I wasn’t the only one having trouble being consistently successful with observation.

Over and over the common problem was some sort of fear: fear of the children not working, fear that the classroom would get out of control, fear that not enough lessons would be delivered, fear that…fill in the blank. There were dozens of reasons.

So I began to live with the question of how I could support both myself and others to make observation, something we Montessori guides know is the foundation of our practice, (I mean, how can we “follow the child” if we’re not observing to see where she’s going?)…how can we make observation a habit. And not only a habit, but a pleasant one; one that we never want to miss?

And then I read this:

Our actions are most likely to revert to what is habitual when we are in a state of fear or anxiety. …We discount interpretations and options for action that re different from those we know and trust. We act to defend our interests. …Our actions are actually reenacted habits and we invariably end up reinforcing pre-established mental models.

It seemed that the habit that was keeping me, and, perhaps you, too, from designing observation into my daily tasks was being driven by all the tiny fears that infuse my habitual thinking: too much to do and too little time; there will be chaos; there will be too little work if there are too few lessons; observing means fewer lessons.

And so, I set out to change a habit. The first step was observing or “seeing” the fears that were holding me back. Each time I planned to observe and I was inclined to let something interrupt my plan, I asked myself, “What is stopping me from keeping my commitment? What fear is behind this stop sign?” Gradually, I began to tease out the fears. I wrote them down. I weighed them. I asked myself if they were real. The only way to find out was to face those fears and do the observation anyway. Only then would I know if the fears had been founded or not.

I encourage you to try this process to see what you discover. Make a plan. (I recommend you start with just a daily 5-minute or less plan…have everything ready so you don’t have to find your journal, a pen, a chair, etc.)

When the stop sign pops up, take a few minutes to find the fear. Then do the observation anyway.

Senge, Scharmer, Jaworski, and Flowers: Presence: An Exploration of Profound Change in People, Organizations and Society 2004; Random House New York

I was all prepared to launch into a Springtime series on flowers with some fun freebies that will have your children wanting to become botanists!  (If you got excited when you read that, have no fear….it’s still coming!)

But, as is often the case for me, the experiences of this week sent me off on a tangent, and this one’s time sensitive! So, here goes…

How do you model being a learner for your students?

What did you learn yesterday? Personally: I learned the distinction between equity, equality, and a host of other social justice vocabulary, framed in an interview with Dr. Derrick Gay; I learned that flexibility is a valuable asset when it comes to collaboration; I learned a new writing technique and that one can learn a LOT from a 6-word story.  For example, here’s one attributed to Heminway: FOR SALE: Baby Shoes; Never Worn.  Yeah, I know, sort of heavy.

That’s where I learned something else: I make a lot of assumptions. That 6-word story made me think of a lost child; perhaps lost dreams. Certainly heartache. But what if it were something different?

What if it were that the shoes were planned for a boy, but a baby girl arrived? What if it were that the parents bought the shoes, then had a child who preferred toes in the grass…and they decided her passion for a barefoot experience was more important than forcing shoes on her feet? Wouldn’t that be a joyful statement of seeing the child within and allowing her to be herself?

I also learned how much I love my work as an Instructional Guide for the Center for Guided Montessori Education. (There is no plug coming; I promise!) I learned, from an experience that allowed me to “see” more deeply into them and myself, that the CGMS model of training allows me to learn both with and from my adult learners. As I read their reflections and assignments this week, I got to see more deeply into their lives through a writing activity: a Very Short Story (VSS) of 6 words or less. Their VSS offerings allowed me to see, to become curious, and to seek support for writing my own VSS. Later this week, when I send their weekly note, I’ll share mine with them in gratitude for their teaching and inspiration. I will let them know that they modeled courage and vulnerability and that inspired me to write. I will thank them for being dedicated learners, whose words encouraged me to give this new writing style a try.

Which brings me to this morning’s reflection: How do YOU model being a learner? I suppose that begs the question: ARE you a learner? What hobby, what experience, what passion are you pursuing? Do you share it with your students? Modeling a passion for learning may be your greatest opportunity for inspiration in your classroom.

The enthusiasm I felt sharing my passions for music, history, botany, geology, baking, sewing…a seemingly endless list of possibilities… has connected me to a lifetime of sharing and inspiring students, young and not-so-young, in a lifetime of joyful, joy-filled days.

What will you learn today? How will you share it? How will it be just the inspiration your students need?

“The real preparation for education is a study of one’s self.
The training of the teacher who is to help life is something far more than the learning of ideas. It includes the training of character; it is a preparation of the spirit.”

As I gently returned to social media after a self-imposed hiatus, this question from a homeschooling mom grabbed my attention:

“Every weekend I work on the presentations for my kids. But I realize I’m the one deciding what they should do each week in every subject. If I ask them what they want to learn, they don’t know…they just follow what I tell them to study.”

My initial thoughts were to respond with ideas about Cosmic Education and how it can be used to jump-start and motivate children of any age. But there were already a few well-written responses in that vein, and something in my own thoughts, those that aligned with previous responses, wasn’t sitting right with me. So, I paused.

Long story short, even my emotion-laden dreams had me working through my discomfort subconsciously. And, as is often the case, a bit of clarity came through in my morning meditation.

The challenge of consistent motivation may be a universal human problem. In recent months, with the pandemic and personal grief my family has faced, I’ve been struck with motivational challenges that, honestly, felt pretty foreign to me. For most of my life, I’ve awakened ready to go, with more things on my To Do list than is physically possible in my allotted 24 hours.

But 2020 and the turn of the new year have offered emotional challenges that set me on my heels. The gift of quiet that “stay at home” mandates initially offered, paled when staying home began to feel more like isolation. I questioned my life work, my time management, and, most importantly, my sense of self. So, for several weeks, I limited myself only to those tasks I felt simply must be accomplished, adding in as much down time as possible, and filling it with rest: resting my body, resting my mind, resting in nature and away from electronic influence as much as I felt I could afford. Waiting to find myself again.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
When the student is truly ready…the teacher will disappear.”

Today, I was that student, and after the weeks of rest, reflection, continued but minimized work, and even some therapy, my teacher appeared, the lesson was received, the turmoil lifted, and I knew I was “back.”

What was the clarity I re-discovered today? That yearning and motivation walk hand in hand toward the discovery and execution of our cosmic task. When we yearn, we are revealing our innermost selves. Yearning helps us discover, and accept, our passions and overcome our insecurities and doubts.

Passions lead to intentions. Intentions lead to development of one’s will. Will propels actions and actions lead us to fulfillment of our yearnings.[1] That fulfillment is our destiny; our cosmic task.

As I sat silently in meditation, among the thoughts that floated in and out, were the yearnings of that homeschooling mother of three. This caring mother already understood the problem: that she is directing the learning; her children are not.  Her desire is to know what to teach, but her pupils have not yet become students. How can she teach when the student has not arrived? Where should she turn for guidance in motivating?

Dr. Montessori’s words returned to my thoughts and the opening quote was easily found: The mother must turn to a study of herself. She must discover her desires and walk them through the ancient wisdom to her destiny. She must model this for her children and prepare a space where they can do the same for themselves.

Observe them. Listen to their unspoken words. Offer a wide range of experiences. Observe some more. Offer more. Imagine your offerings as the many tiny bits of tinder that wait for the spark that will grow into a roaring fire. As your children share in your passions, as they begin to catch your spark, they will show you what they want to know and what they need from you as their teacher. The problem will be transformed from how to motivate, to how to manage the depths of their interests.

New challenges will inspire new yearnings…and once again, that homeschooling mother, just like all of us “yearners,” will become the student and the teacher will appear.

^[1] Taken from the Upanishads: “You are what your deep, driving desire is. As is your desire, so is your intention. As is your intention, so is your will. As is your will, so is your deed. As is your deed, so is your destiny.”

The Wisdom and Wonder of Maria Montessori’s Cosmic Vision

’ve been hanging out with Maria a lot these days…well, actually with Mario and Maria. If you’ve been reading my words through this blog or joined Demystifying Cosmic Education, you know I spend a LOT of time reflecting on how our Montessori practice leads children to the discovery of their cosmic task, no matter the age of the children with whom we spend our days. The activities we provide and the way we provide them are designed to touch the heart and soul of the child, to draw them into feeling their deepest inner self.  

As I focus on creating a new short course in Cosmic Education, I’ve been spending time with Maria and Mario in Kodaikanal. Through Mario’s words, I’ve travelled to the rooms where they sat discussing the world’s miracles that were unfolding through fortuitous moments. Having discovered, by chance, that the starving animals living in his carefully prepared terrariums only ate when the food moved, Mario and Maria worked out the dance among the animals whose purpose was to keep the living population in check. This moment set their thoughts in motion on the wonder of the cosmos and the beautiful perfection that existed within it. 

Bouncing back to reality, I reflected on the moment when I came to awareness of cosmic task. It was “Love in Plants.”

Yes, I already knew the biology. I understood how plants and animals worked together to further the species and to promote diversity. I was a lover of plants. The most joyful days of my childhood were spent sitting in trees or hiding among ancient grapevines. Even though I’d endured my share of stings when my bare feet found a bee among the clovers, I didn’t fear the insects. I rested calmly in the knowledge that I did not possess the nectar they were seeking. 

But I’d never felt the power of the biology. I’d never sensed the intricate awesomeness of the Universe. Until “Love in Plants.” 

To awaken to the simplicity of love working in the world, all the time, for billions of years, to the creation of all things, including me, truly moved the Earth inside my own heart. Montessori’s idea of Cosmic Task became clear in that moment and I was set free to discover mine. 

I’ve imagined how it must have been for Maria to be working with her son. In my reveries, I felt her experience of love: love that guided her through the trials of a pregnancy outside of marriage, the challenges of limited opportunities in her chosen field, and the pain of exile. It was always love that brought her through life’s twists and turns. 

In the discovery of human development, Maria was fulfilling her Cosmic Task. She pulled back the veil of childhood and helped the world to see the possibilities for genuine peace through triumph over trials, if only children were properly guided through their growth into adulthood. She felt with all her being that the Universe is LOVE.

And in that moment of “Love in Plants,” I felt it too. 

This is the fourth article in the series: Key Ingredients for a Learning-Inspired “Classroom” at Home or in School

“An ordinary teacher cannot be transformed into a Montessori teacher, but must be created anew, having rid herself of pedagogical prejudices. The first step is self-preparation of the imagination, for the Montessori teacher has to visualize a child who is not yet there, materially speaking, and must have faith in the child who will reveal himself through work.”

Dr. Maria Montessori often spoke and wrote about the transformation of the teacher. Surely, in her oft-challenged life, she faced many moments that required transformation.^[1] It was undoubtedly her own ability to transform personal challenge into triumph that led to the many “before-their-time” discoveries in child development, human tendencies, and personal spiritual satisfaction that remain the foundation of her method. Her many unique findings continue to be upheld in current-day educational best-practices around the world.

But this article’s not about Maria’s transformation, it’s about yours: the Montessori adult. You may be a parent, a trained guide, a support teacher in a Montessori school…it really doesn’t matter. To Dr. Montessori, your most important task is to be transformed.

But how? What are we supposed to do? Or, more importantly, who are we supposed to be?

The answer lies, at least in part, in the second half of the paragraph that contains the opening quote. Before I share it, brace yourself for an adjective that may bring uncomfortable feelings as you read. Montessori’s honest terms can feel blunt and socially inappropriate in our modern language. Be patient with your reaction and set it aside so you can take in the full intent of her words.

“The different types of deviated children do not shake the faith of this teacher, who sees a different type of child in the spiritual field, and looks confidently for this self to show when attracted by work that interests. She waits for the children to show signs of concentration.”

From these words, the complete paragraph, I take two pieces of direction:

The first is to educate oneself about the possibility of each and every child. As guides, we must first understand the developmental stages and human tendencies. We must know how the development and tendencies reveal themselves through the child’s actions. And we must use our imaginations to “see” into the future as each child fulfills her potential. We must be in constant service to creating the environment that will allow the secret within each child to reveal itself. 

And then, secondly, we must have faith that in time, and with the right work, this child will reveal herself through concentration on those tasks that hold her interests.

Simple enough, but not easy. What are your next steps to achieving this “key ingredient”?  You must know and trust that the environment is the essential element in which the child will find her passion. Your role is to prepare the environment with your knowledge of all the possibilities that may appeal to the child before you. You are the one to bring the critical pieces together and introduce them gently so the child may discover her interest and her enthusiasm.

And then you wait. You watch. You tweak. You watch some more. When you see that the child has found a work that holds her attention, you pull back and enjoy the new-found independence. You silently watch from afar so as not to interrupt, either with praise or sharing your observation. You release the impulse to respond so this child may fully experience her focus and her flow, knowing that you have witnessed a powerful moment in the spiritual development of the child.

“The first step to take…is to shed omnipotence and to become a joyous observer. If the teacher can really enter into the joy of seeing things …many delights are reserved for him that are denied to those who assume infallibility and authority in front of a class.”

^[1] The reader will find added information of two significant challenges that are often left out of her biographies in this sensitive article by Dr. Robert Gardner, commissioned in 2012 by the Clanmore School in Oakville, Ontario. https://sites.google.com/site/thetriumphofmariamontessori/

I still remember the warm May afternoon when I completed my elementary training. I sat with my 10 or 11 fellow trainees, knowing I was about to take on the leadership of a well-established classroom. I was filled with thoughts of “Am I ready?” 

We’d had incredible training. My guides through Montessori elementary had been mostly Bergamo-trained. They had imparted the details of the curriculum, how to carefully present the lessons, to anticipate the challenges of managing follow-up and errant students, and the value of inspiration. I felt our philosophy courses had been interwoven into the curriculum presentations, so I thought I had a pretty good idea of why we did things the way we did in Montessori. 

I’d apprenticed at the school where I’d be leading a class of 9-12-year-olds, starting nearly five years before, first as a “specials” teacher, then as an assistant for a few years while I was in training. I’d been given positive feedback about my ability to relate to the students and my mentors felt that being a parent had prepared me for understanding the realities of child development. 

But was I really ready to step into the role of lead teacher, responsible for the education of nearly 50 students, with a new co-teacher who’d been out of the classroom for a few years? 

Truthfully, I can’t say. But I did it; we did it. Through trial and error…lots of those…we grew our program to meet the needs of the students who came before us. 

Reflecting on the journey from “fresh-out-of-training” to “I’ve got this!”, I can see that the steps I took throughout those 30+ years had two key ingredients: A passion to learn and the resilience to keep learning, exactly the “thing” we want to impart to our students. 

I can honestly say that even after all these years, I wake up with a fervor about this work that may be even stronger than it was in 1989 when I sat in our “graduation.” I know that, just like the students in my classes, the flames of learning have been fanned by a host of mentors, guides, inspired speakers, and children who have accompanied me on this journey. 

Now, my work is to be a helpmate for you…the Montessorian who can use a bit of advice, a story to keep you going when times are tough (and goodness knows pandemic times have been unspeakably tough) or providing a community of like-minded Montessorians who want to contribute to the future of humanity by guiding the children of the present. 

Are you ready? I suspect so. I know what you’ve been through to finish that certification and I’ve probably experienced something like what you’ll go through.  

Now I offer you the practical application of bringing it all together while managing your time, your energy and your students! With courses, workshops, this blog, materials, group and private mentorship options, and free webinars, there are literally dozens of ways you can get the support you need in difficult or challenging moments.

Join me in practicing and celebrating the opportunities for changing the world that exist in Montessori!